EXECUTIVE UPDATE MAGAZINE
by Merianne Liteman and Jeffrey Liteman

Conflicting Goals

Question: We’re planning our annual retreat, and I’m worried that some contentious issues will come up that will result in conflict and lead to tension. I want this retreat to foster teamwork and cooperation, so how can I prevent conflict from arising

Short answer: If you keep conflict from coming up, you’re practically guaranteeing that your retreat will not be productive.

We know that seems counterintuitive, and you’re not alone in equating conflict with unpleasantness. Most of our clients tell us they associate it with words such as "hostility," "malice," and "hate."

We view conflict quite differently. We see it as a natural and healthy consequence of people in relationships dealing with issues that are important to them. To try to suppress it is as futile as it is counterproductive.

Conflict leads to tension when it is ignored, denied, or damped down, or when an organization’s culture demonizes it as a "bad thing" to be avoided.

Your goal as a leader should not be to stifle conflict but rather to manage it in such a way that the energy it represents can be used as a force to advance your organization’s goals.

Skillful conflict management contributes to a culture of trust and allows an organization to explore important issues and get to the bottom of them. Organizations that do this, often find better and more satisfying ways of getting the work done, and increase collegiality, communication, and cooperation. Managed effectively, the energy that drives conflict can lead to understanding and respect among colleagues.

Ironically, staff members who care the most about one another personally (particularly those who have been working together for some time) are usually the least likely to engage in the dialogue necessary to address conflict. They don’t want to rock the boat and risk endangering their relationships at work.

But if ignoring or suppressing conflict keeps the boat steady, it doesn’t plug the holes below the waterline. When conflict isn’t dealt with appropriately, it festers, which can sap the organization’s strength, threaten its health, and interfere with its ability to function effectively.

To foster the success of your retreat, you want participants to know — and really believe — that they can speak out honestly about their concerns without fear of retribution. You don’t want it to turn into a gripe session about their personal issues with so-and-so, so encourage them to talk about what they see as interfering with effective operations. Your role as a leader is critical in supporting such communication.

You must give your personal guarantee that no one will suffer repercussions from speaking out — and you must mean it. You must also make it clear to your subordinates that you will hold them to the same standard.

And you must also indicate that you are eager to listen and willing to consider the role you play in both moving your organization forward and holding it back.

That said, we realize it’s difficult for many of us, whether executives, managers, or staff, to deal with conflict effectively. Addressing difficult issues makes many people uncomfortable, some of us exceedingly so. Those who tend to avoid conflict often honestly don’t believe there is any conflict in their environment, when it fact it may be swirling around them like a hurricane, made all the stronger for their unwillingness to deal with it.

Others are perfectly comfortable with conflict and can’t understand why their colleagues shrink from it. Managers who welcome conflict, however, may intimidate others, who may fear to raise potentially contentious issues with them. Unchallenged, these managers may perceive, like their conflict-avoiding cousins, that there is no conflict, and that everyone is with the program, when in fact, staff may be dealing with their issues indirectly through passive resistance, grousing at the water cooler, and turnover.

Clearly, a middle approach is called for, one that fosters speaking out openly, honest inquiry, careful listening, striving for understanding, and seeking solutions together. Managing conflict effectively is a skill that every executive should learn and practice. This doesn’t mean that you mediate every conflict that occurs in your organization, but that you create a climate in which people are comfortable addressing fundamental issues. That way, they’ll learn to manage their own conflicts effectively.

So don’t focus on keeping conflict under cover at your retreat. Instead, manage it — by yourself or with the help of a professional facilitator — so potentially troublesome issues are explored openly. That’s how you’ll achieve your goal of increasing teamwork and cooperation.

Return to Top | Return to Previous Page | Return to Home